Inspiration struck- I typed, this is the result. A lonely poem posted out of the blue because well... I had to!
Shall I say of myself
I long to be unhappy.
Shall I say that
happiness
Like cheap gum loses
its flavor quickly
That to be happy for
one moment too long
One moment spent
happiest
Is the most unkind
That sadness and
discord of the soul
Are what fuel this
mind to keep out mold.
But then shall I also
say
That music
The best of sorts
The kind that lifts
your heart and eyes to
Look heaven word
Well, this I shall say
This is the music I enjoy
Shall I also say that
love and all things holy
Are what I crave for
myself
That the peace of
goodness
Is the sense of whole-ness.
Shall I also say that
there is an infinite struggle
The fight for fright
and life
The battle of two
separate minds
Logic and faith
Fish and bait
Wanting to be early
But then again being
late
The being and the
maybe will be
The has been and the
now it’s hurting again
Shall I also say there
is an infinite struggle
That leaves my mind in
mushy puddles
If I ponder too hard
what will I say of you?
I should invalidate
your taste and person
I should not let you
affect me in person
I should shut you and
I away in separate boxes- boxes of light and dark
Of mind and heart
But this is not of art
This is out of not
wanting part
I don’t want to hurt
you
I don’t want to love
you
I don’t want to make
you part of me
I don’t want to look
at the inside because indoors is where ego goes to horde
Stores and stores of
priceless precious opinion
Stores and stores of mooring-less points of derision
Everything in me wants to run away
Run away
Block out
Shut up
Shut down
Shut out- open the
door
shaking and anticipating
that maybe something
hopeful may come out.
Shall I say of myself,
I long to be happy.
Shall I say that the
presence of hope is the best way I know how to cope.
Shall I say I love to
be happy
Shall I say of myself,
the pain is worth the sunshine
That the sun will
shine
That happiness can be
mine.
-dh
